A Survivor of, “The Cult the Family”!
In the beginning there was only darkness. This is the unflinching true story of a boy raised inside a family cult, the years it cost him, and the long road back to himself.
Told by the man who lived it, in his own words.
Addiction, pain and the slow work of recovery.
A childhood shaped by a cult and its leader.
For anyone still finding their own way out.
About the author
Survivor. Seeker. Storyteller.
Anthony John Leigh was born in Melbourne on 4 September 1969, into a family bound to the sect Australia came to know as The Family. Its leader, Anne Hamilton-Byrne, called herself his godmother. By the time he was four his mother was gone.
What followed was a childhood spent between Australia and the United Kingdom, a boy raising his little brother, and decades of what he calls self-medication. He writes about all of it the way he lived it: head on, without excuses, and with a dry humour that never quite leaves him.
A self-described information junkie who found early “the greatness of the written word”, Anthony shares his story for anyone still finding their own way out.
About the book
“In the beginning there was only darkness. Slowly my eyes were opened.”The first line of the book
Now I Can Get My New Tattoo is the true story of a boy born in Melbourne in 1969 to parents who answered to someone else. His mother left when he was four. He grew up between two fathers and two countries, raising his little brother while still a child himself.
Anthony John Leigh tells it the way he lived it: head on, without excuses.
The sect led by Anne Hamilton-Byrne, known in Australia as The Family, shaped every adult around him. Its leader called herself his godmother. There were meetings, tapes and working bees, and children moved between “cult houses” whenever she directed it.
When Anthony saw what was happening to his brother, he spoke up. Years later, a police task force came knocking on his own door.
From Valium at twelve to heroin as a young man, Anthony calls it what it was: self-medication. The book follows the raids, the failed detox, the friends who did not make it, and the day he decided it was time for a major change.
Recovery, he writes, is a rebirth into reality. This is what that takes.
A true story
Memoir
Melbourne, Australia
Inside the book
The book moves the way memory does: from the first dark rooms of childhood, through the years that were lost, to the day he decided it was time to change. Scroll, and walk it with him.
Recovery, as Anthony sees it, is being born a second time. He opens with what he has learnt about healing: that it has to come from within, and for your own reasons.
Drug addicts are some of the greatest survivors of all. This is my survival story.
Two fathers, a mother who leaves, a grandfather who searched the phone books of the world for the family he lost in Poland, and a household that takes its orders from Anne Hamilton-Byrne.
Although we were together, we were in fact continents apart already.
A boy made into a parent for his younger brother starts to question his own programming, and where his values really came from.
I lost my childhood to situations that were far beyond my controlling influence.
Valium found in a drawer at twelve. Cigarettes, then marijuana, and adults who looked the other way. The question the book keeps asking is asked here first.
I can now see it for what it truly was: self-medication.
The heart of the book. Israel and a grandfather's rejection, the cult house at Eildon and the day Anthony spoke up for his little brother, and the police raid by Operation Forest that changed everything.
I am unwilling to turn my life over to some guru, no matter how enlightened they prove to be.
Heroin, a first detox that fails, friends who fall away and friends who do not make it. Then a decision: get clean, sell everything, and go and find his mother.
It was time for a major change.
And then, slowly, the light.
Read the whole storyWhat the story carries
Meetings, tapes and working bees. Children moved between “cult houses” and countries whenever the leader directed it.
What happens when the people who shaped you were themselves being shaped, and you decide to question all of it.
Addiction told honestly, and recovery told as what it is: slow, unfinished, and worth every attempt.
Read an excerpt
The opening pages of the book, in Anthony's own words. No polish, no distance. Just the voice you will hear all the way through.
Get the book“Drug addicts are some of the greatest survivors of all. This is my survival story…”
Keep readingLife is by no means easy. It does not matter what other people say, we all must contend with our own nightmares. We are the only ones who know how much we are hurting inside, and by vocalising this we can start to let the hurt out.
Then and only then can we really begin to heal ourselves. This must come from within.
It does not matter how many times we try for other people, we must find the strength and reasons for our own recovery.
In my opinion, recovery is in fact a rebirth into reality, and boy oh boy does that suck. Reality in itself can be so tormenting, as well as frustrating.
Growing up and learning from the lessons life throws at us is one of the keys to finding health and happiness.
As a recovering poly-substance abuser, I have been addicted to most recreational drugs, as well as prescription pills, at one time or another. Recovery will always be a part of my journey in this life.
Introduction
In the beginning there was only darkness. Slowly my eyes were opened.
First, we are created. Then we grow within the safe environment of the womb. This is when it all really begins. We are born.
Recovery is in fact a rebirth into reality.
From the Introduction
It is one thing to get clean, but another to stay clean.
From The Early Years
All we need to do is learn from our mistakes and take pride in our successes.
From To Act from the Heart
We are, after all, only human, and to be human is to be imperfect.
From The Early Years
Drug addicts are some of the greatest survivors of all. This is my survival story.
From the Introduction